Bonding
by darlingharbour
Summary: Christian isn't a covalent bond...he is not supposed to be shared. Or so Randy avariciously believes. Strong T for excessive profanity, implied m/m slash, and talk of male genitalia. Oneshot.


**A/N: **Partially inspired by the camping trip I recently went on with my (totally not gay) male friends. If only I could repeat every Brokeback Mountain joke made that weekend...Ah well, hope you enjoy.

Also, I'd like to thank **Snarkcasm **for giving me the courage to cuss! Well...in fanfic, anyway. Let's hear a "fuck yeah" for unnecessary expletives, which is basically all this fic consists of! Cheers!

**Bonding**

Swiping his key-card into the indicated slot, Randy opened his hotel room door only to be greeted with a sight he might've seen before, had he not been constantly traveling and unable to spend his time outside of the ring with leisure.  
>Surprisingly the hotel room wasn't a disaster, but it was the vision on one of the two beds in the room that caught Randy's attention.<p>

Adam and Jay were lying in the bed together, snuggled up to the other's form (with Adam's arms encircled around Jay's waist) and naked from the waist up it seemed – he really did not want to consider anything else, so he went with that. Both also appeared to be sleeping but Randy knew them better.

He rolled his eyes. "How sweet," he mock cooed, making his way into the dark-lit room. He stopped at the canary yellow drapes and pulled them open, instantly bringing much needed radiance to the moderately-sized suite.

Adam cracked one eye open and scowled. "Fuck you, prick," he shot back.

Randy didn't take (much) offense, a joking anger to his voice as he responded: "Get your hands off my boyfriend, asshole."

At this, the inert lifeform that was Jay made an incoherent noise that was too sexually implicit to be counted as anything objective. "Don't," he then stated more clearly, fluttering open his hazy blue eyes. "It is way too early for this."

"Jay, it's noon."

"Shut up." Randy got a pillow tossed at him for his troubles. "Besides, I don't see why you have to be so possessive all the time."

"Randy? Possessive?" Adam, who before had merely sat still watching the two's exchange, grinned from ear-to-ear. "I couldn't possibly imagine—"

"Fuck y—"

"Shut up!" Captain Charisma slapped a hand over his best friend's mouth, threatening Randy with the gesture. "Both of you!" he commanded, already fed up of their 'bickering'.

It was only silent for a minute before the Viper stalked beside the bed and grabbed Jay's arm, attempting to pull him up and away from Adam. Unfortunately it was on said man's side of the mattress and the motion only caused Jay to roll on top of the Rated-R Superstar; a position in which Randy did not like him in – at all.

"Ow, get off my dick," Adam teased, his grin broadening at the reaction he was receiving from Randy. "You must've gotten your fill of it last night."

With great force, Jay swatted his long-time friend's bare chest as he accepted Randy's hand and helped himself up off.

"That was your dick? I thought it was the Mento I dropped in the sheets yesterday," he quipped.

Adam's expression changed from smug to fuming in a matter of a nanosecond or two. Randy couldn't help but laugh hysterically.

"Fuck you both," he spat, pouting briefly before regaining his wit. "My cock's definitely bigger than yours, limp dick."

Jay paused his rummaging through his suitcase to turn and glare daggers at the taller blonde. "Adam!" he cried, mortified he'd go far with this petulant game. "I can't believe you'd say—"

Randy remained unfazed, eyebrows raised and seemingly not insulted. "And you just _have_ to brag about the fact that you're so 'big_'_?"

He smirked. "It's common courtesy to bring it to people's attention. Warn them, if you will."

Jay faltered for the longest of moments but then – with much effort – decided to ignore this and stood up. "I'm going to have a shower," he announced. "If you need to_ relieve yourself_, you're screwed because you're going to have to wait till I'm done."

Randy tore himself from making obscene faces at Adam. "I'll join you."

"No." Jay deadpanned, walking into the bathroom.

His lover stopped behind him, surprised.

Still on the bed, Adam chortled.

"No?"

The door shut and the lock inside made a indicative noise that confirmed that Randy wasn't allowed in.

"No," repeated a muffled translation of Jay's voice from the other side, "you are going to stay there, talk to Adam and when I get out I better not have to hand over any strangled bodies to CSI."

"But—!"

"No buts. If you—"

"I swear to God if you play the 'if you love me' card—"

"_If you love me_, you'll try to get along."

So predictable; he was a fucking sucker for obeying him and Jay knew that well enough to use it to his advantage. Manipulative bastard.

"But—" he tried again.

"That goes for Adam too!"

Before either of the subjugated men could say anything more, the sound of water running resonated through the rooms' mutual wall and both knew Jay wasn't bothering to listen anymore.

Randy sighed and turned back to his former tag team partner, who was grinning madly and, for some unfathomable reason, naked. He yelped and covered his eyes. "What the fuck!"

Adam just laughed...the sick, traumatic pervert.

"Hey, he never said anything about _me_ not joining him."

/


End file.
